Richards Occasional entry 1

The flight into Miami was great – lots of movies to choose from, comfy seats ok food, no arseholes. We didn’t want to get off. The transfer through Miami was a nightmare- 1 hour 30 minutes queuing for immigration, a stressed out dash across the airport, back through immigration in less than 30 minutes. Why ? America is THE most paranoid country in the western world, so why insist that transit passengers pass through immigration? Do they not have enough finger prints ? At least the connecting flight had not left without us.

Mexico was ok, boring scenery (very flat), but no hassle. We had overnight stays in Cancun and Chetumel, both of which were ok, without being remarkable in any way. Very Mexican…..I guess.

We travelled down to Antigua by bus; comfortable, if slightly dull. A bit like working for a corporate. We spent 26 out of the next 48 hours on the road, although sometimes it was more of a dirt track.

One of the unexpected benefits of spending days on a single journey in Asia is that travel time seems to shrink. I recall 2 hour train journeys in and out of London that seemed to last an eternity. Now anything less than 6 hours and I don’t have time to settle into my seat.

The border crossing into Belize was livened up by the Japanese American telling the immigration officer that no, she did not have to pay for a visa. One thing I knew even before I left the UK is that it’s not a good idea to argue with immigration officials. Not if you want to enter their country. They let her in, eventually.

Belize was very odd. We only ‘passed through’, but it was a ghost country. We crossed the border at 8 am and entered the twilight zone….no people, no cars, no dogs, nada. We did not see anyone or anything for about 3 hours. Until we hit the metropolis of Orange Walk…….

We were met at Flores by a couple of chancers and a minibus at a gas station outside of town. They were there to take us to our hotel, which was dubious enough, but we didn’t actually want a hotel as we were leaving for Guatemala City that evening. Rather than be stranded 10 km from where we did not want to be, we hopped on and hoped for the best.

It turned out ok, apart from cruising around Flores for an hour, stopping at every hotel, each of which was full. Flores is about 1km square, so after circling the town 5 times, nausea kicked in. We bailed out across from the pick up point for the next leg of our journey.

Bus stations in Guatemala are low security detention centres – 10 foot iron fences, shotgun carrying guards and locked gates. No observation towers, or none that we could see. After negotiating our release from the Guatemala City bus station, we taxied in to Antigua, about 50 km away, arriving at 7 in the morning. The town was slowly coming to life, which was good as I had 3 hours to find a venue for the England Portugal fiasco.

Antigua is an ‘authentic’ little town, about 3 km square, resting under the shadow of the enormous, dormant (and hopefully it will remain that way) volcano Agua. No building has more than 2 floors, most only have one. Earthquakes are common, one large one every 25 years. The latest quake is about 6 years overdue. Reassuring.

Ruined churches, destroyed in the last big volcanic eruption of 1773 are the only reminders of Antigua’s past, the capital of the Central American Spanish empire. Antigua is now the party town of Guatemala. There are plenty of bars and restaurants of varying quality, and every weekend the fashionable young of Guatemala City hit the streets. The translation for ‘lets party like we did in the old days’ is ‘lets go to Antigua’. Honest. I saw it on the TV subtitles !

‘Antigua’ really does mean old fashioned, which is a good description, but when they named it in 1524, how did they know it would stay that way ? Was it old fashioned already in 1524, or did they have some serious foresight ? And when the town was destroyed in the 1773 earthquake, did they rebuild it in an old fashioned style ?. Do all new buildings have to meet ‘old fashioned’ building requirements ? These are the things you think about when you haven’t worked for a year.

Talking of subtitles, we can now understand most of the Spanish subtitles we see on the Hollywood films on TV. Unfortunately, we have no idea what people actually say to us. Unless they speak….really……..slowly………..

Antigua, and Guatemala generally, is quite a dangerous place. There really are shotgun toting guards outside every bank and all the shops that sell anything of value – TV’s, fridges, argentinian steaks (not joking). We laughed at all those security obsessed North Americans, warning us of the dangers of walking home after dark. Until 2 girls we had been out drinking with were mugged at gunpoint 5 minutes after we said goodnight, just around the corner. We have now developed a healthy sense of paranoia. It’s a real shame as most of the people are very friendly and helpful, and the countryside is fantastic. Unfortunately an armed police escort is required just to walk up to the top of the hill. I guess that’s what happens when you have a 30 year civil war, which ended less than 5 years ago. It wasn’t like this in Cambodia though, and they really know how to torture, maim and murder each other.

You never really know what to expect with the travelling thing – what will be enjoyable, what will not, what’s going to be good, what’s bad. And sometimes exciting, even when you could do without the particular brand of excitement on offer. At least it’s nearly always interesting. Just not in the way you expected.